I’ve gotten A LOT of questions about romantic orientations vs sexual orientations.
Like, a lot a lot.
So here’s a chart…thing.
Basically: Everyone has a romantic orientation, and everyone has a sexual orientation. Some people don’t even worry about the romantic orientations, and others (especially those on the ace spectrum) refer to the two as a combo thing. Like at Burger King.
So, to figure out “what you are,” just take one from column 1, and one from column 2, and mush them together.
(For example: If you’re a woman who sexually likes men but romantically likes all genders, you would be a heterosexual panromantic.)
I mean, not to be that guy on Tumblr who whines all the time, but I really don’t understand how polysexual and polyromantic are on here. Unless I’m wildly misinterpreting the terms, I assume they translate to “want to sexytimes more than one person at once” and “want to romancetimes more than one person at once”. They don’t have anything to do with the gender of the people you want to be with.
Same for me for demi/gray —I’ve known heterosexual demisexuals, and I don’t think that they’d necessarily want to pick just one of those two facts to identify with.
I’ve seen polysexual/polyromantic defined as “attraction to more than two genders, but not all of them.” I think it’s a useful concept to have in our mental toolboxes, and respect people’s right to identify as such -
but good lord, WHY did they have to pick a word that was so name-collidey with polyamory concepts?
This little infographic gives me so many rages, for all of the above reasons and more. But I think all I’m going to say right now is that I hate improperly derived words. The term for people like me in a certain way is transsexual, with two esses in the middle, because it is a word made of two parts. Similarly, if you want to make that word up there, it’s heteroromantic, and no, you don’t get to elide the duplicated “ro”.
On the other hand, I just got the greatest idea for a story about a fantasy world where the wizards practice heteromancy, so hey, there’s that.
Dani: Don’t you feel that “heteromantic” should be a school of magic, though?
me: I have only ever seen it written as heteroromantic before, so I’m just gonna chalk that up to typo? because heteromancy is totally something out of Harry Potter
Dani: I feel like there was a grand battle between the homomancers and the heteromancers somewhere in our world’s past, and the world has been in a heteromantic grip ever since.
me: ….hey, *that’s* why the wizards in Harry Potter all have crazy-heteronormative family structures!
Dani: An evil curse of heteromancy!
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